On July 18th,2016,my mom passed away from heart failure.She was 68 years old.This is a tribute to my mother,my friend,my confidant......

My mother left me with the following legacy...                                   

A love for Jesus and His Word.

A love for children and marriage.

A love for music and old movies.

A love for politics and critical thinking.

A love for service to others and mercy.

A love for laughter and teaching.

A love for sharing Jesus with others.

A love for justice and seeking truth.

A love for creating with my hands and a love for

gardening....but of all these things she influenced me in, I learned to stand for my convictions, no matter what anyone said or did, otherwise. My Mom was unwavering, firm, single minded, determined and resolved when she stuck to her convictions. Even if it meant an argument may ensue. This was my mother. Taking a stand on something the Lord showed her.

I always loved to hear my Mom sing. It was both comforting and convicting.Many people think she had a lovely voice and remember her for that, but the real beauty wasn't in her ability to sing so beautifully, but it was the Presence of the Holy Spirit in her heart AS she sang. Every word piercing hearts. Many a tear was shed through my Mother's singing.My mother was my greatest cheering section. She was an encourager, calling me 

and giving me Scriptures. There were times I can remember when my Mother would call and she said the Lord had given her a passage for me, to share with me. Sometimes, I cried while she was reading it to me over the phone, as it was exactly what I needed for what I was going through at that time and then at other times I would thank her and think," Well, that didn't really apply to me, "to only find out later that day, how much that Scripture was exactly what I needed to hear.

In high school, my mother would come and get me from school after lunch, even though I had 2 more classes left. I was teased a lot at school and it was hard to concentrate and I just didn't get the learning down. My Mom didn't hold a store over a 'proper education' and wasn't at all concerned if I was smart according to "national standards", she was more concerned about the Spiritual things, the eternal things that will last forever, like my relationship with the Lord and where my heart was in my walk with Jesus. I shared with her not too long ago, how thankful I was that she came and got me when I called from school with a heavy heart, I think that I would have done myself in, it was such a painful time in my young life.

That was the hope of my Mother,that her children would love the Lord their God,serving Him in humility.

Then when Daniel and I started to adopt our children, wanting so much to raise them according to Scripture and God's instruction, my Mom and Dad not only backed us up when we disciplined our children, but they encouraged us and praised

                                                                                       

what we were wanting to accomplish in the rearing of our children. For me, in a fast changing culture, where this is looked down on, it meant everything for us to have their support and encouragement and instruction.

I remember my folks praying with Daniel, Gabriella and I  in the airport   

right before we took off to China to get Danielle. My Mom sold many of her antiques for the adoption costs with our sons, Christian and Obadiah. My folks went to the swap meet and sold a trailer full of antiques for our sons' adoption.

My children called my Mom PoPo.It is Chinese for grandmother,on the mother's side.My Mom said she felt privileged to get such a unique name.

My Mom taught the girls how to knit and cook and make yo-yo's for quilting. She taught them songs and danced with them and told them funny stories about herself. She gave them a love for animals and especially goats and anything that had to do with farm life. My Mom had a servant's heart. She was cooking all the time and until everyone was served their plate of food, she didn't sit down and eat. When they were building their home in Vernon, they had 2 trailers. My Mom always fixed up the trailer we were to stay in before she ever got to theirs. She went so far as to fix it up in my favorite designer's style. Always the decorator, just another one of our Father's traits in her life. My Mom had a servant's heart for family, neighbors, and strangers alike. She would get involved if they had a need to be filled and people always seemed to appreciate her helping hand.One time, she called me, so excited to tell me that she had just helped the     

Sheriff's dept. by rounding up a bunch of runaway horses on the highway with her car, I will forever have this image of this older woman spinning her wheels in the dust on the side of the road, yelling, "Yaa, Yaa!" She was in her element at times like these. Very recently, while going down the back road she loved to take, she helped a man who was in a car accident, and came to his aid and later went to check up on him at the hospital. My Mom found immense joy in helping others.

I am able to honor my parents because I watched through the years, as she honored  hers. My Mom heard some cruel words as a child, from her father. Being told she was stupid and hit when my grandpa was angry. She went right on loving my grandfather. She said she knew my grandpa loved her in the only way he knew how. She taught me that people who don't know the love of Jesus need to be shown it, and that's what she did. My mother never spoke down to my grandparents,nor did she patronize them,belittling them, as so many people do to the elderly.While my grandfather was in a bad nursing home where they were abusing him, my mother showed great mercy and love for my grandpa, again moved by her conviction to stand up for someone whose voice was neither heard, nor respected, she attempted to remove him from this place. She risked and lost many relationships to do this thing for her father,at his request. That has left just about the biggest mark on my life yet, as to the love of Christ indwelled within her soul....Jesus stood with her, as the quote goes," One person on God's side is a majority."

                                                                                        

My Mom was a very different woman than most women today. She might even be called a backwards woman by this post modern culture, but I love her all the more for that. It is this character trait that I will miss the very most. She didn't get caught up in make up or hairstyles, she aged with grace, preferring to look like a mountain woman,preferring to look her age and not being ashamed of that. She never was known for going with the crowd. Never! She didn't follow church trends, or speak church lingo, she simply read her Bible and allowed the Holy Spirit to lead her. When she talked about Jesus, and  that was often, she spoke as a child of God with simple childlike faith and love for her Savior. If I was to describe her from a collection of people, it would be the following...Golda Mier, Lillian Trasher, Corrie Ten Boom, a little bit of Eliza Lucas Pinckney and an angel voice and there you would have  a closer picture of my Mother.I realize with great anguish, that I will never hear her give me a Bible verse or an encouragement or hear one of her stories, until I see her at home in heaven. I will miss her smile and laughter and the way she would laugh at herself, inviting anyone to laugh along with her. My Mother's favorite quote was always from Corrie Ten Boom's," There is no pit so deep, that God's love is not deeper still." I will miss her sweet, lingering hugs, our long phone calls and visits and talks about Jesus and her grandchildren. I will miss her scent...always of either Youth Dew or plain old mountain dirt.My Mom struggled with sickness in these past few years. She didn't travel often and when she did, she usually ended up sick. In our more recent family videos, we observed her with our children, walking and holding their hand, interacting and it was obvious that she was giving a part of herself that was out of sacrificial love to her grandchildren, because she even appeared as if she were struggling some. I know she was on oxygen at night and it scared her when she couldn't' get her breath...But, she's all better now and in the arms of our Precious Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

My Mom is gone, but her legacy goes on...through my life and that of my children. We come into this world with one purpose only, and that is to glorify God and enjoy Him. And after a very short time, we slip right back out of this world. But in the time my Mom was here, she had left an indelible mark on my life and that of my children. There are no words, in which to thank Jesus for giving me such an inspiring, delightful Mother and  best friend.A patient and engaging Grandmother for my children.Because she was more childlike in some ways,it was natural that children really loved her.

As Christians, we are all running a race. And we know that if we are running it with our feet firmly planted in the Pure Gospel, it will grow more narrow, as if on a precipice. It will grow more fierce, as if in a storm. My Mom ran hers and did  it beautifully because she was covered in the glory of God that is His Son Jesus

                                                                                        

Christ! I thank You, Father, I adore You, in all Your splendor, that you would bathe me in such a sweetness, that was my Mother. Oh Mom, if you could but hear me, I'm shouting, "You did it! You ran your race and you did it well because you clung not to your own accomplishments, or talents, or skills or works, but to the cross and the Finished Work that is Jesus Himself!

I close with these hymnal words so befitting of my Mom and her blessed Redeemer Jesus, her most cherished of friends....

Things that once were wild alarms cannot now disturb my rest, closed in everlasting arms pillowed on the Loving Breast. Oh to lie forever here, doubt and care and self resign, while He whispers in my ear, I am His and He is mine. His forever only His, who the Lord and me shall part, ah with what a rest of bliss, Christ can fill the loving heart. Heaven and earth may fade and flee, firstborn light and gloom decline, but while God and I shall be, I am His and He is mine.

Mom,this song reminds me of you and your struggle with feelings of worth.Your worth is all about the One who paid the ultimate price for you and for me and for the world.Because of Jesus' worth,we are worthy...But you know all that now,as you bask in the Glory,sitting at the feet of Jesus now.....

Trying to Catch a Friend by Danielle Xu Qian Smith

One night, while taking Honey outside, I dropped a paper plate on the ground. When I picked it up, I started to walk backward. I didn't see where I was going, as I was walking, I stepped on something and it squeaked. I looked down and saw a little field mouse. I called for Daddy and he came running. The mouse was squirming and twisting because I stepped on it. It wasn't fully dead yet. I yelled,"It's a mouse"! So Mommy came to see. As soon as she saw it flipping around, she said," I can't see an animal dying." So she quickly went inside. I asked Daddy if we could save it, but he said it was too late. I went inside to bring Honey in. And Gabby said that it was dead.  So Daddy took a bag and picked the dead mouse up and threw it in the trash can. I felt bad that I had killed it. But Mommy said it was okay. After that incident, I wanted to make a mouse trap. The trap above is the one I made. But I didn't get any mice yet. Mommy said if I caught one, I could maybe keep it. So every night, I put the trap in a quiet hidden place, waiting for a mouse to fall in!!

Babysitting Clyde by Gabby Ying Smith

          Danni and I are babysitting  Clyde,the guinea pig,for friends who are out of town . We have had him for three weeks.We used to tap on his cage because he looked like he was dead,as he slept on his side with his eyes partially shut.He looked at us as if we were inconveniecing him in some way. When he hears us crunch the spinach bag,he lets out a loud squeal,as if to let us know that he is there and he is hungry! He used to be afraid of us and avoid our hand when we would try to pet him.Now we bribe him with carrots.

           He is so funny he makes us laugh.He is a lot less work than when we had rabbits.We did some research on what he could eat.We tried to feed him  celery after we gave him spinach,carrots and cucumber peels...he would have nothing to do with the celery.He has become quite a picky eater,but we have pampered him because he's cute.He has long dagger nails.We let Clyde listen to guinea pig videos and he started to make all sorts of noises! This video is of 'special forces' guinea pigs...which Clyde is not G- Force! Clyde is special to us and we love him just the same.......                                                                                                                                                           

Running The Race by Tammy Noel Smith

          "Come one,come all,to the race of a lifetime!"
     
    I have to admit,I was never one of those young girls who dreamed of horses,like my daughter Gabby. Gabby knows all about horses,the different breeds and their purposes.Some are for walking in front of a plow,some for transportation, others for entertainment such as westerns,commercials and  horse shows.These days,they are using horses as therapy  for physically and mentally challenged folks,imagine that! The horse that I am most drawn to,are the race horses.Aw,not that I like going to the horse races but rather I love seeing films about real race horses that shouldn't have won,but did! Against all odds,some of these Triple Crown winners,should never have won that title.
     Why do I so much enjoy watching the race?Because it reminds me of the race I'm running.As a follower of Jesus Christ,I can't help watching as the horse starts out bad as a foal.A mistake,sired by bad blood,good for any other purpose BUT racing.The owner sees something that no one else sees and they wait patiently.Then something amazing happens....The horse likes to run,and fast.They have this insatiable need for speed.They want to please their owner.I think,isn't that what I want to do? I came into this world covered in sin,not really good for anything at all.Surrendering my life to Jesus,to cover my sins and make some sense why I exist,something happens....I want to run! I want to please my Owner,who sees something in me,His reflection.So He waits patiently while I learn from Him,through obedience and trusting Him.I cannot do enough to show Him my gratitude for hanging on that wretched cross for me,for my wickedness.The price He paid for me,a sinner with a death warrant.So,I run the race....
         
   "My son,do not forget My teaching,but let your heart keep My commandments,for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you.Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you;bind them around your neck;write them on the tablet of your heart.So you will find favor and good success and the sight of God and man.Trust in the LORD with all your heart,and do not lean on your own understanding......"[Proverbs 3:1-35]

      I watched Secretariat, a film based on the life of the Triple Crown winner in 1973.For 25 years no horse had won this esteemed and highly honored title.Not only did Secretariat win,but he set race records for all three races,and they still stand today. I noticed how much work went into training this beautiful beast.Day and night,trial and error....the horse still wants to run.When his mouth is abscessed,he still takes the bit and races.Though he loses that race,he still ran it,while in pain.
      As a follower of Jesus Christ,I am running this race that I cannot help,but run even when my heart is broken and weary.I am moved by the Holy Spirit to hear and then obey what God calls me to.With every step of obedience,I find myself  getting further and further from what is comfortable.When the LORD commands me, "Go and adopt My little children,even if man questions your ability,your race,your age,your income to provide for them","You are my daughter,dress like you are the daughter of the King,even if man scoffs at you"."Go and share the Gospel even when you will be rejected and shown contempt by man"."Don't listen to man and his foolishness of disciplining children,they are Mine and I will give you wisdom and discernment,though you will still be ridiculed by the fool." "Teach your children about Me day and night,even if the world says I don't exist...they will hate you for it, but lift up your eyes to the hills from where your help comes from.It comes from Me,who made heaven and earth.I will not let your foot be moved;I,who keep you,will never slumber.....I am your keeper,I am the shade on your right hand."  [Ps.121:1-8]
         I stumble... I yell at my children out of impatience. I fall...I walk by someone without sharing the good news because I'm afraid of rejection. I am stubborn, prideful,mean spirited at times,fearful, but I run.I run because I was made to run this race.I was called to run this race.
       I repent,turning from my sin and keep running,"Brothers,I do not consider that I have made it my own.But one thing I do:forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." [Phil.3:13-14]


            I love the last scene in Secretariat.I notice how every eye is on that horse.They cannot believe he is so far ahead of every other horse in that race!The looks on the people's faces speak volumes of their awe at this horse that wasn't supposed to ever be there,but there he is, out in front.I too,have a cheering crowd as I run this race.All of heaven is cheering me on because my Owner is with me,is in me.He is the One who set me apart,knowing I was made for this race,knowing I am going to win this race!All for the Glory of the Owner of my soul,Jesus Christ!
       

    "Therefore,since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses,let us also lay aside every weight,and sin which clings so closely,and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,LOOKING TO JESUS, the founder and perfecter of our faith,who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross,despising the shame,and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."[Heb.12:1-2]
        .....As a horse prepares for the race of his life,the LORD has given me everything I need to run the race of my life!

A Sparrows Tale by Tammy Noel Smith

                   

     "Not even a sparrow,worth only a half a penny,can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are more valuable to Him than a whole flock of sparrows."
                                                                    -Matthew 10: 29-31

           While walking in the woods one day I heard a sad, lonesome tune.I looked up into the branches of an ol' cottonwood tree and saw a little sparrow looking right at me. I asked her why she made such a mournful sound and her reply to me was,"I have no food to eat,no warmth from my mother's feathers,for she has flown away and I am alone and scared." "Why,that's terrible! How can this be?" I exclaimed. I asked,"What about the Blue Jays, won't they come and cover you with their beautiful blue feathers?" The sad little sparrow replied with an anxious trill,"They will not come, for I do not wear their color upon my breast." I asked with sadness,now in my voice," What about the Robins,won't they come and feed you?" The sad little Sparrow replied with an anxious trill,"They will not come,for I am small and have nothing in return to give them for their time."
                 " What about the black birds,surely they will help you?" The sad little Sparrow replied with an anxious trill,"They will not come,as you well know,they already keep many babies.They haven't room for one more." Now my heart,heavy with fear for this sweet little Sparrows plight, I spoke ever so softly,"The great horned owl would come and care for you,they are good at listening and they can see well,that you are vulnerable and afraid of the dark." As soon as the words were out of my mouth,I realized I will be wiser than the wise owl. I have listened to this twittering heart and have seen her trouble,"Little Sparrow,though I do not look like you, I will cover you with my warm hands.Though I haven't much money, I will feed you. I have many children but little bird, you too,will be treasured as my own babies are.And little bird.....I am much more wiser than the wise old owl, for you see, I have listened and heard well from the Maker of these woods. To take you home and make you mine, I take the very heart of Him who made you, with me. The little Sparrow looked into my eyes and, as her way of showing her joy at this news, she let out a song so beautiful and then hopped on my shoulder and we went home together.I now travel these woods, listening very carefully for the sound of little birds in search of a mother.......

             

          This story is dedicated to my 5 little sparrows. The LORD is faithful,and His eye is surely on the sparrow.........

                                                                   

Danni's Dog Honey- by Danielle Xu Qian Smith

        

         Honey is a Deer-head Chihuahua. She is only 3 months old. I named her Honey because she is the color of honey. I got her as a birthday present from Mommy and Daddy. They bought her from a lady in our neighborhood, who sold chihuahua puppies.  I have had her for three weeks now. Every night, after we are in bed,                 Honey and Cracker-Jack, my sisters dog, get a treat after they go outside,so Honey learned to sit on the kitchen rug and wait patiently for her treat. Honey loves to play with her small tennis balls and squeak toys. Every time I throw a toy for her, she will catch it and bring it back like a golden retriever. She will never get tired of playing. Honey also tries to play with Cracker-Jack, but he will growl at her so she will leave him alone. She has a lot of energy(as puppies usually do).When I lay down on the couch with her, she will snuggle up close to my neck. Honey loves to cuddle.         Honey is a little smaller than a guinea pig and is small for her size. We used to have a small Chihuahua mix that was 3 months old and was twice as big as Honey. The lady Mommy and Daddy bought her from said that she was "the runt of the litter". I think that's why she is so small. Honey loves to run around our backyard and she runs like a cricket.   

              

       Honey is almost potty trained and  is a quick learner(chihuahuas usually are). When she is potty trained, I want to teach her some tricks like Sit, Stay, Come, Down, Shake, Dance, Bow, Wave, Speak, Give a Paw and Roll Over. One trick that I never taught her is Sit Up. When I open the refrigerator and get a treat out for her, she will sit up on her hind legs expecting the treat. Honey is very gentle when she takes a treat from me. When we are watching a movie(usually one that has dogs in it), Honey lays down and watches it too. 

  Ruff...Ruff...Ruff.

God's Providence by Tammy Noel Smith

         Many people cannot fathom a loving God who would have babies born,only to be abandoned.Here is my answer to their question.....

         We have taught our children that it's not even a matter of being abandoned. God,in His infinite wisdom and divine Providence,created the situation in which our children would be born and later left in a place to be found. They were never meant to be with their birth parents. God uses us all in ways that will bring glory to Him.Adoption is that means in our children's lives......
            A child can look at adoption in one of two ways: Self pity.They are the constant victims of someone else's sin,be it birth parents,government, economy,etc. or they can look at adoption with gratitude,at God's mercy and kindness towards them. John MacArthur says that," God has a purpose for both good and evil.God is holy and content to leave the responsibility of evils existence  and action with Himself." God did not create evil.It is impossible for God to do evil.He willed that it exist.But why? Charles Wesley said,"The reason God ordained evil is for His own Glory! God is made infinitely more glorious because evil exists.We praise Him for what He has done to overcome evil." Our unrighteousness{example:an abandoned baby} demonstrates the righteousness of God on display! {Romans 3:5} So God demonstrates His mercy and kindness through adoption,but adoption cannot happen without someone being abandoned.{Almost too beautiful to conceive}!!!
           I hope this helps our children understand that there abandonment has EVERYTHING to do with God's glory and that they can count themselves used by God to actually show off His Glorious Mercy! What a beautiful position God has allowed our children to stand in!